When your ex suddenly looks ‘manageable’!

By Candida 

I’ve always believed there’s no point hanging on to a dead marriage where both partners no longer see eye to eye. The few victims who’ve had the guts to pack such a marriage in have confessed to being relieved – and happy. Joy’s marriage was already on its back, with the hooves virtually in the air, when she told me she would rather be on her own than live with the ‘lodger’ her husband had turned into. Not one to act on impulse, I asked her to give such a hard decision a deep thought before she threw in the towel.

LOVE

“It’s not as if I have children to consider,” she said. “I have only one daughter, and she’s in the university. Most of the time, I’m on my own whilst Cyril (the husband) lives his own life. He goes and comes as he pleases. Well, I want to do the same without being labelled adulterous! I feel I can work better and improve the quality of my life without a stressful marriage.” Her chance came when she heard on the grapevine that Cyril had been giving a lot of attention to Mubo. “She was his old flame, his ‘first love’ as he’s often bragged,” Joy explained. “And I’d had my suspicions that he was seeing her even before the rumours became rife. 

There wasn’t anything special about her and I have always found her dull and annoying, but they went way back. He even admitted visiting her now she was single again, but that they were just good friends. I didn’t really believe him and didn’t particularly care either. It was around this time that finishing touches were completed to the rundown bungalow I was refurbishing. I wanted to let it at first, but decided to move in with my daughter. 

My problem was selling the idea of our living happily apart to Cyril and I reckoned with lover girl on his mind, it would be easy. “Cyril wasn’’t buying any of that at first, but I explained I would rather be on my own and he needed to move on with his life. 

We both have good jobs and healthy investments so there were no financial obligations tying us down. I felt enormous relief after I left and was in the least surprised when Joy moved in with Cyril a few months later! We hadn’t even discussed getting a divorce. When next he visited our daughter and I teased him about it, he said he might have the traditional engagement ceremony with her. The gall of the man! But what was the point of getting angry with him? I’d moved on with my life, so should he. “Since there was no bitterness when we separated, he visited as often as he could to see our daughter and to sort out details of our divorce. 

He always loved a good gossip and with lots of news to swap on our friends, our conversation sparkled once more. I was in the kitchen preparing lunch one evening when he dropped by. He teased me as he often did and I laughed flirtatiously with him. For the first time in a long while, I took an interest in his tall physique and the chest hair peeping from his shirt. He was looking at me with the same lust, then we kissed. 

“Thank goodness our daughter was out as we made out on the settee! The passion between us hadn’t been this intense and frantic in years. ‘Hey, we could still rock together’, Cyril thrilled. We made love again – but it wasn’t the humdrum, tired’ marriage sex’ we used to have. This was raw and hungry, hard and fast. The sense of taboo and familiarity made it an explosive mix. Afterwards though, 1 refused to cuddle up to him so as not to confuse physical desire with love. Besides, I was enjoying being a free and single woman and had no desire to return to the straight jacket of our marriage. ‘I’m not planning on us coming back together,’ Cyril said sheepishly. ‘I wouldn’t want to hurt Joy.’ He was relieved when I smiled naughtily at him and teased him he was my bit-on- the-side now. 

That sort of set him off as he entered my bedroom and we were off again. He then freshened up and raced back to his ‘jailer’ while I lay in bed, grinning like the cat that got the milk! Sad boring Joy! I’d got one over on her. I’d proved I was still an attractive, passionate woman at 46 – and I had no qualms about the situation in the slightest. After all, what have I done but sleep with my own husband! Cyril couldn’t have felt too guilt-stricken either as he started visiting me whenever he knew our daughter was out. Each time, we wasted no time in getting down to business in the safety of my bedroom. 

Our hot and smoking romps continued as our divorce came through and didn’t stop after he and Joy married. Our illicit sex is still too exciting to both of us to give up. “Lately, he’s been grumbling he’s not happy with Joy. That’s no skin off my nose and I’m sure our affair doesn’t help. But do I feel guilty? No way! Do I wish them well in their marriage? Hell no! What did Cyril expect, marrying an old flame like her? 

He should have had enough sense that rekindling an old flame seldom works. As for me, I now have the best of both worlds. The freedom of living on my own – and the power of knowing Cyril can’t get enough of me. I won’t be giving that up in a hurry for anyone! Once in a while, I run into both of them at parties. 

Joy always looks a bit apprehensive when she sees me, and she believes she’s responsible for my broken marriage. It’s all I could do not to laugh out loud. Now that I’m my husband’s mistress, I’ve got my libido back! Let her be the one to lie awake nights, wondering why she’s not getting as much nookie as before!”